It’s pervasive in my thoughts.
Satan always wins.
I say it in frustration when I see him trying to tear our family apart through subtle instances and feel like God isn’t there to stop it.
Scanning the latest bad news across the twitter stream, it’s there. It’s there when I open my local newspaper and see another sexual abuser being arrested. It’s there when I read blogs depicting devastation that has wreaked havoc on peoples lives.
I make silent promises to myself.
“I am not going to let evil enter my home. I won’t let it happen to my kids.”
I go through in my mind all the ways I will take action to protect my kids. How I’ll protect their friendships, their activities, who they come in contact with and every aspect of their young lives.
Then the enemy slips ever so quietly into the millions of holes I can’t fill. My kids become ever so slightly infected. I devise ways of plugging these limitless holes with the few fingers I have.
How powerless I feel.
It feels like a curse I have brought upon myself. To make these promises. Promises of being my children’s protector from every kind of evil. How foolish am I to forget that I am a mere finite human being. I only have so much control of life; the visible life.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12
When I see and recognize how little control I really have, I become discouraged. I start fearing what tomorrow, next week, next year will bring. I fear how inadequate I will be to parent teenagers. The responsibility with little or no control of what enters our lives feels burdensome.
This thing called fear often affects how I live. The reality is, my fear allows the enemy to pervade my parenting and my choices. Through my fear, I end up missing out on the power of Lord in our family’s lives.
The truth is fear controls me. In return I try to control my fears by attempting to control circumstances and what affects those circumstances.
I want to let go of this fear. There is no freedom in it. It is a heavy chain that burdens me and this burden makes the joys in life I’m suppose to feel become empty.
If fear is cast aside when seeing disappointment and sin in our children, it allows God to work in those moments and be the redeemer that He is. In fact the only one to fear is God himself. Is He not greater than Satan?
When fear is absent, Satan loses.
He loses when calamity strikes and I place my trust in the Redeemer, the one who promises that all things work out for the good.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
I use to hate this verse, seemed so trite and cliche in every sense. The verse always gets thrown around so easily when a travesty happens, as a means to ease the pain that precedes it. I’ve even said it to others then muttered under my breath walking away asking how this is even true, how it seems Satan wins.
But the verse has grown on me.
When I sit down with my son trying to let God work out the mess that is set forth in front of us, I need that verse to be real. I need to know that when the enemy strikes and I feel like I am cleaning up the mess, God has to show up and make good of it.
He has to.
I have to trust that He has to.
When those messes are redeemed, I then begin to see how Jesus uses the messes to glorify Himself. To show me in the messiness of things, he always redeems. In this hope, Satan loses.