Hunger Games Meets Survivor and I’m Bringing Donuts

KrispyKreme copyI recently read (here) how 200,000 people are volunteering to (essentially) play a suicidal game of Hunger Games meets Survivor. Otherwise known as an application for a oneway ticket to Mars.

There weren’t even 200,000 people signing up for Obamacare in the first month. So does that mean 200,000 people would rather die than sign up for ‘affordable’ healthcare?

I digress.

I’m still a little at a loss as to why people would travel all the way to a place where they know they will die, probably fight to the death over a dwindling food supply and run out of oxygen in a short amount of time.

Sounds fun. (Insert sarcasm)

With all these people willingly wanting to go to Mars and to never return, I got to thinking. If I was one of the few lucky chosen ones, what 10 things would I bring with me?

Boom.

Here are the top 10 things I would bring with me:

1. A dozen (fresh) Krispy Kreme Donuts. Nothing says comfort food quite like a donut when thinking about how you’ll never return to earth. Ever. Again. Just the warm glaze oozing from my lips would make me feel better. Albeit however brief the moment.  (Eat your heart out, you’re going to eventually die on Mars anyway)

2. Bacon. If I have to explain to you why this is in the top 10, I’ll just assume you were born with Ageusia. Don’t know what that weird word means? Your welcome —> Definition of Ageusia.

3. Swiss Army Knife. I grew up watching MacGyver . He fixed any bad situation he was in with this bad mamajama. I’m sure the knife could make oxygen somehow if needed.

4. Duct Tape. If it can hold a kid to ceiling (think I’m kidding? see evidence here), I’m pretty sure it can hold a lot of other things together when you’re in a jam on mars.

5. Coffee. There is no explanation needed. There is no survival without it. Simple enough.

6. Toothpick. There is nothing worse than food stuck in your teeth (especially bacon) that you can’t get out. (I know some of you will point out that the Swiss Army knife will have one, but if you ever see a Swiss Army knife, it’s always missing. It’s the first thing to go missing the first week you get one, next to the itty bitty tweezers)

7. Toilet Paper. From all the fancy pictures I have seen of Mars, the only substitute looks like a lot of red rocks. Ouch.

8. Instagram. How else are you going to share your selfie on the red planet? #selfie #onMars #redplanet #OneWayTicket #MartianPoser Want to know when not to take a selfie? —> “5 Rules of When Not to Take a Selfie” 

9. Google. Google makes everything better. How many days can a human live without food? Google it. How to know if one of your Mars travel buddies doesn’t like you anymore? Google it. How do you survive on Mars? Google it. How cold is it on Mars? You get the idea.

10. Legos. Yes. They provide hours of entertainment. Especially in a barren place like Mars. Best Lego creations here.

 

What would you bring on your oneway trip to Mars?

14 Things About Me

I had a post ready for today but realized I might want to save it for tomorrow. So instead I thought I would use today for you to get to know me a little better as well as meet some of you!

Here goes: 14 random things about me.

  1. I live in Amish country – aka Lancaster County, PA.  Home to the smell of manure being sprayed in the fields most of the year.
  2. I occasionally ride a motorcycle – yes I am a fair weather rider.  I have tried riding when its cold and it’s quite miserable.
  3. I love donuts. And pretty much anything else with a high sugar content. If there was a DA (Donuts Anonymous) class to attend I would be their seasoned veteran.
  4. I am married to the lovely Sarah Mae. (She is the main culprit to why I even remotely had an interest in blogging in the first place. So thank you!)
  5. Love visiting New York City.
  6. Favorite actor is Harrison Ford…Denzel Washington is a close second.
  7. Favorite movie is The Fugitive. (Side note: I actually have been to dam where the scene in the movie took place in TN while on a motorcycle road trip.  Beautiful scenery there.)
  8. I occasionally become grumpy. More so than I would like to admit; actually to the point Sarah Mae tells me I need to make a website called, “www.grumpypants.com” to which the kids call me grumpypants.com.  (see #3: usually solves this problem.) Ironically someone just secured the website!
  9. I wish I was going to the Killer Tribes Conference.
  10. Love blasting ’80’s music in our house.
  11. The last website I visited that I enjoy reading was: www.deeperstory.com
  12. I met Ira Wagler yesterday! Author of NY Times Bestseller, “Growing Up Amish.”
  13. I love IKEA.
  14. I want to move to Nashville, TN one day. (It’s warmer down there and not so much manure.)
Now tell me something about you! Also, if you have one, leave your Twitter handle in the comments!